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The White Pages: A Perfectly Normal Evening

The White Pages:   A Perfectly Normal Evening

6 years, 11 months ago Bobbe White

After work, I walked the dog, mowed the yard and put out the garbage. Friday is a big day in our ‘hood. It is garbage day and it can’t come soon enough.  Meet Murphy’s Law of Garbage: the day on which you have the most garbage bags is in opposite correlation to the number of garbage stickers you own. For my non-Quincy IL readers, we have two garbage collection options: (1) buy a garbage container from the city at a one-time fee, until your garbage container gets stolen, or (2) pay 75 cents a sticker for regular bags of garbage (i.e. kitchen size), or two stickers for a larger, yard size bag. Stickers can be purchased at groceries for $7.50/sheet of ten; I usually buy two sheets. That seems like sooooooo many stickers. Until I need one. Or two. Or six, like I did tonight. At 8:15 p.m., when I’d planned on relaxing for the evening, I loaded Lily White, the black Lab, into the car and told her that since she’d been home all day, we’d go get the stickers, some coffee pods for my Keurig, bananas, shower gel, cereal and dog bones.

It was a record time grocery run, seeing as my hands smelled of gasoline, from refilling the mower, and Lily barked the ENTIRE time I shopped, because the checkout guy could hear her. She thinks I’m never coming back, but I always do, because the garbage must go!

After unpacking the groceries, I checked my Fitbit app. Mowing had pushed my total over 15,800 today! After seeing that number, I was really tired and finally sat down with a nice glass of wine as Lily chewed her bone. Then a bell rang in my head: Where’s the coffee? And the stickers? I searched the kitchen, my purse and the empty grocery bags. Hopefully, the coffee’s with the stickers in the car. The good news: I found the stickers. The bad news was really bad: no coffee. That’s what I get for shopping with a mental list. No worries. In the morning, I will simply have to fill a reusable K-cup sized container with regular coffee grounds found in the pantry. It will suffice, until I realize the coffee I have is technically espresso. You can almost feel the buzz. And if THAT’s not a great way to kick off a Friday, there isn’t one. 

 So much for first-world problems. Happy weekending!

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