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Don't Shoot Til You See the Whites of Their Eyes!

Don't Shoot Til You See the Whites of Their Eyes!

6 years, 6 months ago Mike Moyers

Be careful what you tell people.  Cause sometimes that stuff comes right back atcha.

Ever had that happen?  I did.  Just this morning.

I recently had the pleasure of dining with two lovely ladies I’ve known for years.  We were comparing “remember whens” and “strange tales” when I chanced to share an event that had taken place a couple of years ago. 

My family moved to Missouri in 2013.  The place is very secluded, lots of land and a pond and a lake.  It’s wide open enough to have a firing range if a person so desired. Anyway, my wife and kids were gone one afternoon and I thought, “hey, I’ll get in some target practice with one of my handguns.”  But what to shoot at?

Guys like to blow things up, right?  It’s in the male DNA.

So, I go hunting around the house for a target, like a cantaloupe or a watermelon or something like that.  But no luck.

And then I find a 5-pound bag of potatoes.  Hmmmm, maybe this will work.

I pick out 3 or 4 of biggest ones, place them in a row, make sure I’m doing all the gun safety stuff and have at it.  

From 15 feet away I hit nothing.  I can see the dirt flying around where I’ve missed, but the potatoes are doing fine.

From 10 feet away, same deal.  Now the potatoes are starting to trash talk. And with good reason.

I’ll not bore you with the rest of the results of my shooting, but will say that no potatoes were injured while conducting this experiment.

Upon my family’s return home later that day my wife asks me what I did while they were gone.

I sheepishly responded with the potato target practice story I just shared with you and added, “Honey, if we’re ever attacked by a bag of angry potatoes I think we’re goners!”

We both laughed.

So, what do I find in my office on the day after my birthday?  A 5 pound bag of (wait for it) potatoes!!!

And a very nice birthday card from my lunch companions.

Be REALLY careful what you tell people.  Cause sometimes that stuff can come right back at cha!!

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